angst

the best friend slept over at my house yesterday and we got hold of some disturbing news, which i feel i have no need to justify but i do want to. so what is this bout me always putting the best friend down? where did you earthlings get the idea that i always put her down? if you do not have any idea or know nothing about the dynamics of our friendship, please do not make any assumptions. is calling her a poodle putting her down? she calls me a chihuahua. we call each other names and sometimes swear at each other but we know it's all in the name of fun. but of course, if you're so goddamn pious that swearing is totally out of your league, do take a step backwards and stop making judgements. just because you don't do it, does not mean we have to play by your rules.

why are you humans so quick to judge and to assume? true, we show people the good side of us. rarely the bad side. you choose to judge by what you see without delving deeper into what makes a person. you've seen how goddamn good a person is. what makes you so sure he/she is all that? who gives you the right to say that a person is good or bad without really knowing the person? if you say that you trust your judgement, what makes you think your judgement appeals to all? there is a term called equality. but sadly, not many of us abide by it.

you people really should not have gotten me started. i've got a lot of anger in me, anger that i refuse to express for fear of antagonizing those closest to me. but where does that leave me? do you seriously think i'm happy to be labelled and to be called names? as much as i show none of that affects me as much as it should have, i'm a fucking human being after all. i deserve more than all you've given me. it's respect. respect for the person that i am, for the person i am becoming because at the end of the day, you gotta trust that i'm gonna be the same old me. i'm not gonna transform into a fuck ass overnight. pity that your opinion of someone whom you've only known for a year has clouded your vision of having me by your side for almost 21 years.

honestly, i've got more to write. but i gotta go ready for tuition. please do not mention all of this when you see me. i prefer it that way.